


Silent Movie

by FracturedSpine



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Call of Duty Zombies - Freeform, Gen, Kino Der Toten, Ultimis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 13:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18572566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FracturedSpine/pseuds/FracturedSpine
Summary: The Ultimis crew find themselves bored (well certainly one of them) with a sudden lack of zombies. With no distractions from the zombies, arguments soon follow.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I kid you not, this started life as a Harry Potter fic, written about a year ago. Well... like a year and five days ago tbe. But hey, here we are.

“Dempshey, I’m bored.” The Doctor lay flat on his back upon the middle of the stage, his arms outstretched like a starfish, his cap upon his stomach. He stared up a the crumbling roof of the theatre. For the past few days it had been unusually quiet, with no undead chasing after them. For most of the group, those days had been that of solace, a return to normality, something that they desperately needed. They had spent their time wisely incase the hoard was to return at any moment, resulting in a ransaking of the abandoned theatre. They had managed to break into the pack-a-punch room and Nikolai to the bar, but still the undead did not return.   
A zombie had probably got itself stuck on the roof, Dempsey thought to himself as he sat upon a broken speaker by the stage. He had his Lamentation stripped out before him, giving it a necessary clean.   
“Dempsheeeeeeey!” Richtofen whined. The Doc hadn’t even been lying there for more than ten minutes, but in Dempsey’s mind it was ten minutes too long.   
“What, Richtofen!?” The American shouted at his teammate, not bothering to turn his gaze away from the weapon in his hands. God, the Doc could act like such a child sometimes.   
“Zhere are no zombies to kill.” He moaned, still lying on his back, “and I only want to watch one zombie die. Just one!” Dempsey rolled his eyes. Of their group, Richtofen was the only one who seemed to miss the zombies. Tank had never approved of the idiot sadist’s behaviour and even now, after spending so long with him, it still unnerved him. Tank just hoped there was a straight jacket in the dressing room… just in case.   
“Can’t you just teleport us somewhere else?” Tank suggested. “Somewhere nice, like Tahiti.” The American watched as Richtofen scowled. So far, no one had been pleased with the Doctor’s choice of locations, a freezing abandoned factory (zombie infested) and a swampy Japanese facility (also zombie infested) and now, a rotting German theatre (which was, until a few days ago, zombie infested). The Doc really knew how to pick a holiday destination.   
“Nein, Dempshey!” Richtofen spat, now sitting up so he could glare daggers at the American. “I have synced the teleporter, but it will like another 48 hours to calibrate or we will get ripped apart into itty bitty atoms!” Richtofen a nervous laugh that barely masked his madness. Tank cringed, but remained silent, hoping that the mad doctor would just get bored and wander off.   
“Samantha, where are you?” The Doctor sung loudly, only irritating Dempsey further.  
“Shut up, Richtofen!” Tank scowled as he slowly began to piece together his Lamentation.   
“Oh Samantha, where are the minions?” The German repeated, ignoring Dempsey’s remark.   
“I said shut up, Richtofen!” Tank shouted, throwing his weapon on the ground and jumping to his feet. It only earned him a small giggle from the Doctor and a look of mischievous curiosity.   
“Vhy Dempshey?” The German smiled, replacing his cap on his head. Tank sighed and rolled his eyes, repressing the urge to strangle the man before him.   
“‘Coz you’re only gonna go and piss her off and then there’s gonna be a whole lot of undead.” Dempsey shouted. He felt like calling the Doc a dumbass, but the last thing he wanted was an argument with the man.   
“But I like zhe minions.” Richtofen pouted, getting to his feet. Internally, Dempsey was scathing, hoping now the Doc would just leave him alone.   
“Look. Richtofen,” Tank sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Can’t you just go and help Takeo and Nikolai with the boards?”  
Richtofen grinned but said nothing.   
Tank just glared at him.   
“What’s funny, Doc?” Dempsey questioned, fully expecting to get some deranged response.   
The German paused for a moment, his grin drawing wider.   
“You can’t hear them?” He smiled in mock-kindness, tilting his head slightly. Dempsey growled, he had had it. He pulled his knife and brandished it at the German.   
“No, I can’t hear the fucking voices in your head, you lunatic!” Tank shouted pointing the small knife at the man’s chest.   
“Not the voices. Nikolai and Takeo.” Richtofen smiled sweetly, unfazed by the insult. Tank lowered his knife and sure enough he could hear faint Russian and Japanese swears floating from the alleyway stairs.   
“They’re arguing.” Tank stated matter-of-factly, watching as the Doc clasped his hands behind his back and uttered a string of German profanities under his breath that were no doubt directed at the American.   
“Suppose we should do somethin’.” Dempsey said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.   
The Doctor gave a look of distaste, clicking his tongue.   
“Ja, Dempshey. I suppose be should.” There was a hint of annoyance in Richtofen’s voice, but Dempsey ignored it as he and the Doc made their way over to their bickering teammates.


	2. Chapter 2

Arguments amongst the group were common and ranged from cultural differences to Richtofen just being an asshole, but they always ended quickly with the threat of being torn to shreds by zombies looming over them, but with that threat removed, they no longer had anything to distract them.  
As Dempsey and Richtofen entered the alleyway, they found Nikolai pointing his Colt at the Jap, who was holding a bottle of vodka in one hand and his katana in another.  
“Give wodka back, imperialist dog!” Nikolai bellowed closing the gap between him and the Jap in an attempt to snatch the vodka from his comrade.  
“It is a drink most dishonourable!” Takeo justified, stepping away from the Russian and the aim of his gun.  
Tank just rolled his eyes at just how stupid the whole situation was.  
“Alright, listen up ladies!” Dempsey shouted, only for his words to fall on deaf ears. He watched as Nikolai lunged for his vodka, just for Takeo to gracefully dodge and trip the Russian. In the corner of his eye he could see Richtofen smirking.  
Irritated, Dempsey pulled Nikolai to his feet and attempted to restrain him, but the desperate Russian, starved of his vodka was able to wriggle free after giving the American mainly painful blows to the stomach.  
The fight continued, the sacred drink concealed under Takeo’s arm.  
Richtofen gave a small chuckle as he watched Nikolai rugby tackle the much smaller jap.  
“Oh I’d like to see you do better.” Tank sneered at the German who grinned in response.  
“I vas enjoying the show, but if you insist.” Tank watched in regret as Richtofen withdrew his Luger. He fired several times close to the fighting pair, who immediately stopped to view their assailant. They found themselves staring down the barrel of a pistol being held by a deranged madman.  
“Takeo, give Nikolai his vodka back.” The German spoke surprisingly calmly. Behind him, Tank shifted his weight on his feet, uneasy, worried that the Doc might just be about to do something stupid. Takeo instead looked horrified, not at having a gun pointed at him, but at the thought of having to return the drink to the drunkard.  
“But Edward, it is a drink of dishon-”  
“GIVE IT BACK TO HIM!” Richtofen screamed. His outburst stunning the group into silence. Takeo hurriedly returned the bottle to Nikolai, but yet the pistol remained trained on the pair, a deep scowl clouding his face.  
“Richtofen?” Tank murmured, tentatively approached the German in hopes to calm him and at the most; attempt to disarm him.  
At Tank’s words, the Doctor raised his pistol slightly and fire it off with no warning. Both Takeo and Nikolai flinched out of the way, quickly jumping to their feet, from where Nikolai had tackled them. Richtofen gave a maniacal laugh and holstered the gun, only to be interrupted by the sound of static.  
_“Another setback. Patient two-six was killed this morning in a field test.”_  
Richtofen sneered at the sound of his old boss. The other three stared in confusion at the old radio that now had a bullet hole in its centre.  
“Are you two… urm… done fighting?” Tank asked Tak and Nik, who both nodded in response. Behind him, Richtofen had begun whistling the Double Tap jingle, whilst he rocked back and forth on his heels, acting as if nothing significant had just happened.  
_“He lost control and attacked one of our handlers. His injuries were minor but patient two-six was destroyed.”_  
“And the boards?”  
“All done. Was how Takeo stole Wodka.”  
_“The break in programming coincided with the flashing lights and loud noises of the fire alarm in the test facility.”_  
“Hey Doc, you know anything about this radio?” Dempsey questioned,  
“Scheisse.” Richtofen whispered under his breath. Tank raised an eyebrow at the German’s response. “I mean… no Dempshey. No I do not.” Richtofen lied. Tank sighed, jamming his hands into his pockets. Yeah of course he knew what the radio was, but getting the Doc to explain himself was near impossible and trust me, Dempsey had tried.  
“Say Dempshey, how long do you think that Nova crawler has been stuck up there?” The men, followed the German’s gaze to the roof of the garage and sure enough there was a crawler, its leg caught on a broken roof tile. They stared at it in a lack of wonderment.  
“Explains lack of zombies.” Nikolai uttered, taking a swig of his vodka.  
“Told you it was on the fucking roof.” Tank added, crossing his arms.  
“Naja…” The Doctor hummed, waving away the American’s words only for a voice to fill their heads. They all shuddered at the sound of the demonic child.  
_“THREE DAYS IT TOOK YOU IDIOTS TO FIND THAT CRAWLER!!!! THREE DAYS!!!”_ She screamed.  
“Hello, Samantha.” Richtofen smiled, as if he was about to embark on some long conversation with an old friend and not an insane child that had the power to raise the dead.  
“Yeah, thanks for the break little lady.” Dempsey taunted, shouting at nothing in particular, such was the drawback of speaking with a possessed spirit.  
_“YOU WILL PAY!!!”_ Her voice echoing in the heads.  
“Yeah good luck with tha-” Dempsey smirked, only to watch Richtofen withdraw his luger and take aim at the crawler. “Doc, don’t you dare!” Tank protested, apparently the only one of the group who seemed to care. Tak just stared at the crawler, most likely still pissed about having to give Nikolai his vodka back and the Russian watched on in amusement.  
“But I want to kill the zombie!” Richtofen squealed like an excited child, rapidly firing the remaining rounds into the crawler. Dempsey watched as the creature exploded in a cloud of green disappointment.  
“And too late.. it’s dead.” Tank sighed, withdrawing his colt and cocking it, waiting for the onslaught of zombies that was about to appear. The sound of screaming from all around them only confirmed Tank’s suspicions.  
“Ja! Ze untoten have returned!” The Doctor giggled madly.  
“I fucking hate you Richtofen.” Dempsey was pissed. It was gone. Their time of peace, of normality, all gone thanks to an insane Nazi. Tank snarled, ready to punch the German in the face, only to be pushed aside by Nikolai.  
“Eyes forward Dempsey.” Nikolai instructed, pointing at the large group of zombies behind them. He’d have to deck the German later on, once this was over.  
And so the group returned to what they had been doing for the past months, destroying the relentless hoards that tried to kill them.  
It was just another day in the office really.


End file.
